Not Our First Time (Part Two)

Dear Reader,

In Part One, I shared the questions that were unsettled inside me and the moment I walked away from what I had always been taught. What follows is what met me in that space—the light, the love, and the remembering.

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A Book, A Key

For my 17th birthday, a girlfriend gave me a book by Richard Bach—Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Something in those pages turned a key inside me. I don’t remember the exact words, but I had an epiphany. I lay crying in my bedroom as something long buried awakened.

I remembered.

There were past lives.

We had done this before.

We were on a karmic wheel of birth and death.

Suddenly, the questions that had felt like dead ends began to make sense.

That night, I prayed for peace from the depths of my soul.

I begged God to guide me—as a child in need of a parent’s love—to help me understand what I was feeling.

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The Light

I don’t know how long I was lying there. Everything grew quiet. And then, the room filled with a soft but radiant light. The physical world seemed to dissolve.

I was suspended in it—this magnificent, gentle brilliance.

The light washed over my face, then through me.

It loved my tears away.

It filled me with peace.

It was what I would come to call Grace and Faith.

It wasn’t a concept.

It wasn’t earned.

It was given.

Later, I returned to the rectory and told the priest what I had experienced.

I asked him, “Why is this not taught? Why is this truth left out?”

He had no answer.

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What I Came to Know

What I am sharing with you is simple:

You don’t need to go anywhere to find God.

There is no building to enter.

No scheduling.

No one to pay.

Nothing to earn.

God is unlimited—beyond our human conceptualization.

And yet, God knows when a leaf will fall from a tree,

where a single ant will wander,

and where each grain of sand will rest.

God is present in every speck.

God requires nothing.

God is within you.

Every one of us carries this Flame of Light and Love in our heart.

It is unending, unconditional, and cannot be taken away.

Don’t look out. Don’t look up.

Sit still. Speak to God inside.

God hears every word.

And yes—God answers.

Often, our brain gets in the way.

We want God to look a certain way, to answer in a form we recognize.

But we’ve been conditioned—taught what’s “holy” or “acceptable.”

Those are human programs. They are not God’s.

God doesn’t need a program.

God is complete.

God simply wants to love you.

God waits for you.

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The Karmic Wheel

I’ve come to believe this:

When we were created, God gave us the ability to create—and to experiment with energy.

We were asked to be accountable for what we did with that gift.

But as we misused energy, we veered from our Source—

for a time, though time does not exist with God.

So began the cycle—birth and death.

Again and again, we return to right old and new wrongs, to restore what we disturbed with God.

And through it all, God allowed.

God’s Love is unending.

God waits.

God knew what we would do before we even began. And still, without judgment, God watches and waits.

One day, we will return fully to the heart of God.

But first, all of creation—all that we’ve touched—must be purified with God.

Sometimes I wonder… if these truths hadn’t been hidden from us,

how different might our journeys have been?

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Where I Stand

I sit before you today in all humility.

I speak of God’s love—but I am only beginning to learn what that truly means.

I am just a child—awakening, with an innate longing to feel this Love.

With certainty, I know: for eternity, you and I will be learning and growing in It.

Because It has no end and no beginning.

God’s love isn’t human love.

When I let myself feel it—truly feel it—everything shifts inside me.

Light floods in.

What once burdened me becomes small.

It dissipates in the light.

Faith and Hope rise to take its place.

And that Light… it’s in everything:

The rain.

The trees.

The eyes of an animal.

The softness of silence.

Even your own reflection.

And the fastest way I know to feel God again?

Begin by saying thank you.

Be thankful for the limitations—the grief and sorrow. Those feelings that are less-than are just as important to allow God’s love into, as the ones that feel good to you.

It opens your heart.

And when you forget—start again.

With God, anything is possible.

Even doors that once felt permanently closed will begin to open.

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A Deeper Mirror

I began writing this to share just one truth:

The reality of past lives.

But that truth changes everything.

If we’ve done this before,

we’ve been each other.

We are our own ancestors.

Every person you meet is a mirror.

And when we fight each other, we’re really fighting ourselves.

How does that feel?

This is big.

It makes us accountable.

There is no one to do it for us.

No one to save us.

But that’s not cause for despair.

It’s cause for awe.

Because the love that made us never left.

God’s love is always here.

And it’s more than enough.

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God bless all of us.

Until next time—

With love and light,

Patti

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